I think I’ve been procrastinating writing this blog post for quite a while. I think moreso because I’ve been avoiding the fact that I would have to leave Albania at some point. However, I’m in the New York City airport currently and so I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m not in Albania anymore.

Travel:

My squad has been traveling from Albania to Guatemala for 5 days now. We had a layover in Greece that would take us to Spain but because of protesting and riots happening, we got stuck in Greece for a few days while we searched for other flights. Finally we found a flight from Greece to Egypt, Egypt to NYC, NYC to Panama, and Panama to Guatemala. Soooo, safe to say these have been the longest travel days of my life. And if I’m being so honest here… I’ve been wearing the same mismatch socks for over 5 days now. (Don’t judge, all of my clothes are packed away) Anyways, by tonight I’ll be sleeping in my new bed in Guatemala. Once we arrive, we have a bit of orientation before a week of PVT (parent vision trip) begins. Then, we have Albania debrief the week after, before we finally start our ministry. So these next few weeks are going to be filled with so much to do.

Ministry in Albania:

We were mostly just involved with anything and everything ICF church needed from us. This included teaching English Wednesday-Friday, student events on Thursdays, youth events Saturdays, and church on Sundays. Plus we were able to help with their Night To Shine event, which was so amazing to help out with. If you don’t know, Night to Shine is basically a huge prom for special needs people. So we were able to help make signs for the event, and then go cheer for people on the red carpet as they walked into the room. I think our team was a help to the church, but I think the church impacted us more than we did them. I found a genuine community of people there, which is something I could only pray for back home. I was only there for two months but I found such a close community of believers, they were such a blessing to me.

Back home before I left to be on this trip I prayed continuously for a godly community to surround me. And I’ve found this within my team, my squad, but also in Albania. To be known and to know others is truly a blessing from the Lord.

Now that I’ve had time to process a bit from Albania I would say that I’ve learned a few things about myself. I think there was quite a bit of spiritual warfare in Albania and I felt quite a bit of a disconnect from the Lord. I didn’t portray the Lord’s heart at all times and I have been thinking about this a lot. I know I’m not a perfect person, nobody is, but I didn’t realize how much I put pressure on myself. I feel as though i need to come to the Lord at my best, but I want to be able to come to him at any point in my life. I want to be able to allow myself to feel the Lord’s heart for me at all times. I can only grow intimacy with the Lord if I allow myself to be fully known by him. Fully known in each thought I have, each action I take, allowing him to just live with me in my life. Sometimes I forget it’s okay to just live life with the Lord and he will mold me with time. It’s hard because I want to do things in my own time and become the “perfect Christian” I think he wants me to be. Praise the Lord for his unending grace and mercy. Knowing his heart allows me to let go of my own control and allow him to do what he’s going to do in his own timing.

Prayer:

-to be fully funded!! I’m at 78% currently.

-intimacy with the Lord

-that he uses my team and squad during our time here in Guatemala

-he continues to protect and provide for us all

-guidance for me and what to do post world race